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I by AyeAye12

Literature by Kareemadeem

Literature by DeviantArtist14


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Submitted on
March 5, 2014
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Back in the first house I called my home,
I spied a map in the front window.

A glimpse,
Encoded and golden,
It spoke;
it's language the places I visited during the Summer.

We used to save the fish there,
Keep them from being caught by rogues
With eyes like toads,
Preying on the animals
By feeding them corners to huddle up in.

The Ink Line;
A place where lost time
Met frost vines,
Encompassing a lake
Made of
Gorgons’ eyes –
I froze...just looking at it.

Years passed. I read the tale of Gilgamesh,
Convinced he was speaking to me –
mostly. No, I'm certain.

"Paradise always felt lost to us" he’d say
"It’s why, as children, we sought it out each day."

And I knew the Ink Line was the place...

That warrior brought me dreams, warned me about a serpent
Due to appear in between the ripples of the water
And the reflection of the full moon.
It would consume me whole,
Digest me to places where you could only pay boatmen a toll.

All leading to a world of colossus with rifts and dreams
Where nothingness kisses the sedimentary.

I’d wander in,
Wading through rivers, sticks,
My thoughts waning thin.
I'd blame my being ten years young,
How I'd surrendered to naivety
For facing the right way
Wrong.

I guess I thought I’d glimpsed something...
Maybe some "immortality"?

Or maybe the word is too vague to capture.
A poem about an old mining line near a neighbouring village. There is a lush country setting with a very mystical feeling lake. I always got a weird vibe from the place.

Enjoy!

Edit

Um...wow, I'm speechless. Thank you so much for the DD :)

I will try and get through the faves as much as I can. Expect llamas if you have not had one from me! :D
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-05-02
The imagery from each stanza of The Ink Line by Adonael weaves the wide-eyed and curious story of a ten year old's summer dreams to create a visual feast of nostalgic words. ( Suggested by pulbern and Featured by GrimFace242 )
:iconprimalfuryan:
primalfuryan Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Professional General Artist
:iconaparazita-r::iconsquirrelflight-77:Your artwork has been graciously featured in Titans Genuine Literature feature ,stay wonderful!Hug:iconsquirrelflight-77::iconaparazita-r:
fav.me/d7if01o
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow! Thank you very much. I wish I could be on here more frequently to enjoy it, but my appreciation is still very sincere. Have a wonderful day!
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:iconpeonies18:
Peonies18 Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Hey, I was you got a DD, that's awesome! And congratuations! I don't really know anything about poetry, otherwise I would try to give some helpful feedback. But anyways, I really like this book, the imagery and the style of writing is very nice! 
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes it certainly took me by surprise! :D

Thank you for the happy comment, especially after admitting you aren't sure on how to comment on poetry. I can certainly sympathise. It's not easy to do, so I really value the fact that you did! :)
Reply
:iconpeonies18:
Peonies18 Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student General Artist
I bet! :D

Oh your welcome! I'm trying to get better at it, but since I don't know what all to look out for besides maybe the flow of the poem, its hard for me. But I'm trying to teach myself a whole bunch of things this summer, poetry included! So I figure reading other people's poems and comments is a start. :)
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The best way is to read as much as you can. Even if you don't comment on the work itself, it's good progress.

But if I had to give out one pointer, I would say it's to remember that no single word in a poem is an accident. It was chosen for a reason :)
Reply
:iconpeonies18:
Peonies18 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for the advice! That is a good pointer, I haven't thought of that before, but I will definitely remember that! :) Some of my friends are poets and now that I think of it, they do spend a lot of time on their word choice. 
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad I could help. As a person who writes a lot, I feel like a ramble too much xD
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:iconpeonies18:
Peonies18 Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Saw you got* this poem* 
Oops my bad on all the typos! D:
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. I was very surprised to see that all these comments...it was then I noticed the DD bit, but even so, still a little unexpected xD

I hope you have a lovely day :)
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconflyingheartsplz::iconsweethugplz::iconflyingheartsplz:

Thank you my dear, you too have a lovely day!!! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:rose:
Reply
:iconred-moon-rabbit:
red-moon-rabbit Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Goddammit Adam how many of these DD's are you going to get ;)
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I swear down...I had no idea I had received a DD until just now :P and I can also emphasise my innocence in the matter. It wasn't intentional xD
Reply
:iconred-moon-rabbit:
red-moon-rabbit Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Haha, well it most definitely well deserved. A fantastic poem!
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ohhh you're too kind :rose:
Reply
:iconbeltaneh:
Beltaneh Featured By Owner May 2, 2014
You truly created such beautiful images
Thank you very much for this :)
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
They are very vivid memories. I'll remember those days for the rest of my life. That in mind, I'm overjoyed to hear you enjoyed reading it. I was worried the piece was overcomplicated ^^;
Reply
:iconbeltaneh:
Beltaneh Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
I'm not a native English speaker, so I had to read some of them twice. But still it did not meant much trouble in the "flow" of the poem :)
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm flattered it communicated so well to you. If I may ask, what is your native language? :)
Reply
:iconbeltaneh:
Beltaneh Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014
Actually both Catalan and Spanish
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh wow; I'm jealous! I always wanted to learn Catalan, especially after visiting Barcelona and discovering that my Spanish was a lot less helpful than I'd have anticipated xD
Reply
:iconbeltaneh:
Beltaneh Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014
Ow, it's always nice when you get a reply that's not "what the heck is that" :)
Yep.. it always disappoints you when you've been learning a language for some time and it does not work at all in a real setting. And probably in Barcelona they were not too ready to help you practise anything since people is usually pretty tired of tourists (but not of their money, of course!) ^^;
If you ever plan to come back and need some expressions translated, just let me know
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Student Writer
Love this!! The imagery is amazing :heart:
Congrats on the DD! :D
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :rose:
Reply
:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome!! :)
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:iconmissdudette:
MissDudette Featured By Owner May 2, 2014
Wow
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'll take that reaction xD

Thank you very much!
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:iconmissdudette:
MissDudette Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
:)
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:icononigumo:
Onigumo Featured By Owner May 2, 2014
I especially like 

With eyes like toads,
They preyed on the animals by feeding them corners
To huddle up in.

Ooh, imagery. 
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!

I'm ecstatic that you took that as the main precedent. When we were younger, we practically waged war on fisherfolk (they were hunting the fish for sport and blocking the rivers off to trap them) so we unblocked the rivers a lot. I guess that makes that particular line quite personal, more so than the others :)
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:iconannissina:
Annissina Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I wish I could paint what my mind pictured as I read this. Beautiful :heart:
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
With an imagination like yours, I'm sure you could :) and thank you!
Reply
:iconannissina:
Annissina Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah, you're exaggerating my drawing abilities. :giggle: It was my pleasure :heart:
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know about that :rose:
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:iconannissina:
Annissina Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aw, you flatter me, but drawing really isn't my forte. :heart:
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well I think otherwise, but your opinion of yourself is important so if you wish to improve, you can count on me for support and feedback :)
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:iconannissina:
Annissina Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, thank you! But I'm not into drawing to be honest. :)
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No worries! Well what you believe is fair enough :)
Reply
:iconpulbern:
pulbern Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I dig the nostalgia dripping from every line! :faint:
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad that came across as strongly as it did, seeing as I invested a lot of my childhood memories in this. Thank you for the comment :la:
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:iconpulbern:
pulbern Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Just read it again and it still gets to me. :faint:
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:)

That comment made my afternoon. Thank you.
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:iconpulbern:
pulbern Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:love:
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