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I by AyeAye12

Literature by Kareemadeem

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Submitted on
March 5


92 (who?)
Back in the first house I called my home,
I spied a map in the front window.

A glimpse,
Encoded and golden,
It spoke;
it's language the places I visited during the Summer.

We used to save the fish there,
Keep them from being caught by rogues
With eyes like toads,
Preying on the animals
By feeding them corners to huddle up in.

The Ink Line;
A place where lost time
Met frost vines,
Encompassing a lake
Made of
Gorgons’ eyes –
I froze...just looking at it.

Years passed. I read the tale of Gilgamesh,
Convinced he was speaking to me –
mostly. No, I'm certain.

"Paradise always felt lost to us" he’d say
"It’s why, as children, we sought it out each day."

And I knew the Ink Line was the place...

That warrior brought me dreams, warned me about a serpent
Due to appear in between the ripples of the water
And the reflection of the full moon.
It would consume me whole,
Digest me to places where you could only pay boatmen a toll.

All leading to a world of colossus with rifts and dreams
Where nothingness kisses the sedimentary.

I’d wander in,
Wading through rivers, sticks,
My thoughts waning thin.
I'd blame my being ten years young,
How I'd surrendered to naivety
For facing the right way

I guess I thought I’d glimpsed something...
Maybe some "immortality"?

Or maybe the word is too vague to capture.
A poem about an old mining line near a neighbouring village. There is a lush country setting with a very mystical feeling lake. I always got a weird vibe from the place.


Edit, I'm speechless. Thank you so much for the DD :)

I will try and get through the faves as much as I can. Expect llamas if you have not had one from me! :D
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-05-02
The imagery from each stanza of The Ink Line by Adonael weaves the wide-eyed and curious story of a ten year old's summer dreams to create a visual feast of nostalgic words. ( Suggested by pulbern and Featured by GrimFace242 )
primalfuryan Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Professional General Artist
:iconaparazita-r::iconsquirrelflight-77:Your artwork has been graciously featured in Titans Genuine Literature feature ,stay wonderful!Hug:iconsquirrelflight-77::iconaparazita-r:
Adonael Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow! Thank you very much. I wish I could be on here more frequently to enjoy it, but my appreciation is still very sincere. Have a wonderful day!
Peonies18 Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Hey, I was you got a DD, that's awesome! And congratuations! I don't really know anything about poetry, otherwise I would try to give some helpful feedback. But anyways, I really like this book, the imagery and the style of writing is very nice! 
Adonael Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes it certainly took me by surprise! :D

Thank you for the happy comment, especially after admitting you aren't sure on how to comment on poetry. I can certainly sympathise. It's not easy to do, so I really value the fact that you did! :)
Peonies18 Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student General Artist
I bet! :D

Oh your welcome! I'm trying to get better at it, but since I don't know what all to look out for besides maybe the flow of the poem, its hard for me. But I'm trying to teach myself a whole bunch of things this summer, poetry included! So I figure reading other people's poems and comments is a start. :)
Adonael Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The best way is to read as much as you can. Even if you don't comment on the work itself, it's good progress.

But if I had to give out one pointer, I would say it's to remember that no single word in a poem is an accident. It was chosen for a reason :)
Peonies18 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for the advice! That is a good pointer, I haven't thought of that before, but I will definitely remember that! :) Some of my friends are poets and now that I think of it, they do spend a lot of time on their word choice. 
Adonael Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad I could help. As a person who writes a lot, I feel like a ramble too much xD
Peonies18 Featured By Owner May 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Saw you got* this poem* 
Oops my bad on all the typos! D:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
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